davai davai...

and so i'm here at the end of my senior year at spc.
a lot of things are different, some for the better, some for the worse, yet some things haven't changed at all. 
i've come full circle in music, love interest,  life views (i'm probably a little less of a hippie, but still as openminded and willing to try new things and, on good days, as willing to talk to a complete stranger.) or maybe im the same amount of hippie... idk.
in the words of my all-knowing hindu deity friend, 'Meh.'

'this is what you get, larry.
this is what you get when you fuck a stranger in the ass.'

i totally tried to stay up and watch that movie last night, and just crashed. i've been such a sea of overwhelmedness lately. (is that how you would say that word? idk. i'm pooped.) between dealing with this whole wtf is in my lungs thing, to figuring out my personal life (which, sad to say, i think will never be figured out because human beings are too complex to make any actual sense) to trying to understand the odds of my teaching abroad next year, I keep feeling like as soon as i plug up one hole, a dam erupts somewhere else in my house.

The Pennys, my erstwhile school-chums-and-I's band, is headed right on a rocket of destruction through Muse's Knights of Cydonia. 
I am frightened, and in awe, and still kind of amazed that we are *actually* playing Muse.
Pretty sweet.
Too bad it's going to eat us alive, because we are not worthy.
Literally.
Our timing is...unimpeccable.
It's like watching someone who just learned English try to recite Hamlet.
*ick*
Maybe not that bad....

Then, working 30+ hours a week to be able to afford the security deposit and 1/2 mo's rent for my sort-of landlord next week, while still in school (yeah, i've been skipping classes like crazy. I really hope I don't FA Theology. i don't think he cares..... i hope....) Getting Xrays done, getting the kappa pi arts fraternity induction done, getting the art show done.... and i have to miss the art show that my work is *actually* in on Tues, rgh. 
I feel like my life is a joke right now.

Other than that, the weather up here in NYC is finally Gaw-jyas.... took long enough; it's been jacket weather until the end of April?!! Really! How brash! The weather's got some nerve....

Can't wait til Sr. Week so i can actually go out for a run in Central Park, get out, and enjoy the weather...
....when I'm not working, that is.
;)

is it bad that i kind of want to be left alone for like forever right now?

how about im such an otaku because the best part of my day (so far) was having two japanese-american guests in the gallery? *sigh*
JET interview went well, I think..I tend to get carried away and speak really quickly when I'm nervous, which I think I did... I definitely could have been a little more succint...
i'm really proud of my little Japanese speaking ability! (so think how proud i could be if i was like, you know, fluent? *sigh* maybe one day.)
life is confusing right now, but at least i know as long as i can overhear conversations in japanese occasionally, things will be ok.

hmm, did i really just say that?
im such a dweeb.

..when you're inside a building with big windows and look outside and it's snowing, that you are moving the same direction as the snow?
..when you're eating food of your said culture, and it's prepared incorrectly or served with funny things (i.e., an example for South L.A.'ers, beignets served with a fork) that you wanna tell the place that they've got it all wrong?
..when you get startled by new noises at familiar places and even though it's the same noise on a pretty consistent basis, you're re-startled every single time?
..that someone's staring at you and you think they're creepy until you realize they work there?
..that you're missing like a million calls being away from your phone for just a few hours, then when you check it you have no new txts or calls?
..that people are just trying to annoy you by walking very slowly when you're behind them?
..that you should buy something because you're meeting someone in a place, but you're not really hungry/thirsty/whatever?
..that spacewalks should be mandatory in everyone's yard? (maybe that's just me....)

i don't know.
just wondering.
i feel like everyone gets these feelings sometimes, but we just don't acknowledge them.
i bet douglas adams and john cleese made up words for these feelings in that dictionary they did...

so, today i realized exactly why whole foods is amazing.
while i was waiting to meet up with my friend christine, i was perusing the beer section.

um, yeah.
it opens up a whole new world to me now that i'm 21.

they had:
abita beers (including post-recovery pale ale, a flavor i'm ashamed to say i'm unfamiliar with..), sapporo, kirin ichinban (?!), coney island lager, brooklyn lager, magic hat, and--dare i say it?--original sin! which i promptly bought.
never have i ever seen every single brand i love and cherish in the same place

sweet.

i finally got to hang out with christine tonight.
it was cool.
not as awkward as i was afraid it might be.
a little awkward.
but not bad.

i have a definite dream-goal future life thingy.

it is:
*to live on coney island (the closest place to NYC that's as grungy as N.O. & the french quarter, but still close enough to all i love about the city, and with its own distinct flavor from said city.)
*to keep a pekingese mix puppy-->dog
*to become certified in reiki
*to work as an admin assist. at an asian art gallery
*to join a running club
*to have some kind of alternative lifestyle, pertaining to some subculture of my liking
*to play with a band of new-wave hopefuls


yeah, idk. i mainly just want to live in coney island.

it's kind of all i can think about lately, which is strange.
but then again.

when i really want something it's all i can think about.

so, talk about ironies...
...today, i saw a sign that said 'we are closed until further notice due to a break in the pipes of the floor above. We are currently recovering from devastating flooding from these pipes' in the window of a Plumbing & Hardware store.

*sing-song* Iron-y....

so much for good plumbing...
until next time, gentle reader!

today, i am grateful that i did not get my tarot read for this week.

i don't think i could've handled that.

Every now and then things happen that just change how I look at the world.

I mean, a lot of things are influencing that now. I'm wondering, in many ways, how much I've really changed since freshman year. I feel like I'm a lot more together but that overall things are just farther apart in many ways.

I'm learning exactly how seriously I have to take art if I'm planning to forge a career in it. I mean, the gallery I'm at is so nice, and everything is so precise and perfect and on edge.... I feel like the girl in Devil wears Prada, really, landing such a nice job where all the other interns are so snobby and i feel kinda out of the loop...but it's because I'm not trying hard enough. I definitely have the ability to change my knowledge about things, and I've decided to devote myself to getting to intimately know art galleries, especially Asian contemporary art galleries, around Manhattan, and to visit them regularly over the next year while I'm living here saving up for grad school. I definitely need to be familiar with artists by their names and works and styles and schools and influences...
so much to know, that it's intimidating, yet, it's a challenge...

my work and my future are definitely what I want to immerse myself in right now, everything else can kind of take a back seat, especially when some things are so confusing.

I've decided that no matter what happens in my life, I only ever want to depend on myself. My foremost concern is my career and how well I support myself.
Everything else can just kind of ride on that.

It feels good to be working toward something again....

wow, i never knew how fun updating is while you're supposed to be working!
ok., i shall harness this unsung feeling of forbidden excitement only long enough to jubilantly declare: hooray obama!
but i'm really excited about......not obama.
im excited about realizing that i already knew something today.
and that is...
....if something has a bad reputation, then it's definitely worth looking into, because there's probably something to it that people are afraid of.


nice thought, huh?

looking into thing #1: anarchy.

bring it on.
hit me up though? is there truth to that idea, in a pleasant-ville, ignorance is bliss sort of way? let me know...


'let's pretend we don't exist....'

so, i have come to the conclusion that this is my last semester at SPC.
no, literally. i knew it was the last semester, but i have finally accepted...
'its the end of the world as we know it/and i feel fine...' (i hope i feel that way in 2012. im wiling to bet a lot of sedatives are sold that year...)
i'm buckling down, because i'm setting the seeds for my adult life here.
i know thats a crazy thought, but it's true.
im getting serious about things i know i need to commit to.
and also hopefully having some of the most outrageous times here at college, because, who cares if i get written up? and frankly, now that im a sr. the odds of that aren't very high anyway...


My List o' things for Spring '08:
*bring friends home for mardi gras
*take conrad out to montauk
*rock n roll hall of fame in cleveland, oh trip w/kathie (and mebbe alberto)
*go out clubbing
*become self sufficient
*visit philly
*go to boston
*attend a keg party
*help set up for at least 1 exhibition opening
*go shopping on 5th ave.
*become a regular at a bar (yeah, i can ---- this one its already Park.)
*go to DC and the National Monuments (i can ---this one too im goin tom.)
*go to at least one function that has most of the people i know there (will prolly wind up being JSF)
*call home/sisters more often
*take belle out to a broadway show on her birthday
*get my family up here for my graduation
*finalize my living arrangements for the rest of the year

yep.
thats a hefty laundry list.
i will get all of these things done though, or i swear off the name of llama.
or, at least, most of them...
anyone else who wants to put it visually, feel free to comment with your own list, or add an activity you want to do together. i just want to spend some one-on-one time and party time with all the good peeps...thats not such a hard thing, right?