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Pretend you don't see it...
...and maybe it will go away..
this is totally a grown up me LJ'ing from work 
26th-Nov-2012 03:48 pm
but whatever. not like anyone ever LJ's anymore, so wtf.

i am sooo, sooo proud of myself. 
like, i never thought i would do it. and i'm not sure why it took me so long to actually do it now that i have.

it's been almost 6 months and i've been with someone. it's not perfect, but i'm happy. and so is he.

then i met my upstairs neighbor. 
he's a rocker, he's introverted, great with synths, into post-punk. 
andddd totally into me.
so i was like, whatever, flirting a little bit..
but on the way back from a party in greenpoint, heading back to queens the other night.. he tried to kiss me.
and i was like... whoaaaa. 
put the brakes on that one.

which led me to realize: i am older than i thought. 
not just in terms of age, but in terms of maturity.
he was like 'well this is embarrassing, why'd you do that, you led me on, blah blah blah..'
and i was like 'ummmmm why'd you go and put yourself out there like that when we've been hanging out for barely 2 weeks and you know i've been trying to get us to collaborate on music'

except, im still a girl so it was a lot more like 'oh, um, ok, sorry you feel that way. not available.'

simultaneously annoyed, proud, and whatever about it.
but.... mostly proud.

audra's all grown up. 
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