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...and maybe it will go away..
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..when you're inside a building with big windows and look outside and it's snowing, that you are moving the same direction as the snow?
..when you're eating food of your said culture, and it's prepared incorrectly or served with funny things (i.e., an example for South L.A.'ers, beignets served with a fork) that you wanna tell the place that they've got it all wrong?
..when you get startled by new noises at familiar places and even though it's the same noise on a pretty consistent basis, you're re-startled every single time?
..that someone's staring at you and you think they're creepy until you realize they work there?
..that you're missing like a million calls being away from your phone for just a few hours, then when you check it you have no new txts or calls?
..that people are just trying to annoy you by walking very slowly when you're behind them?
..that you should buy something because you're meeting someone in a place, but you're not really hungry/thirsty/whatever?
..that spacewalks should be mandatory in everyone's yard? (maybe that's just me....)

i don't know.
just wondering.
i feel like everyone gets these feelings sometimes, but we just don't acknowledge them.
i bet douglas adams and john cleese made up words for these feelings in that dictionary they did...
1st-Feb-2009 12:45 am - another brick in the wall..
so, today i realized exactly why whole foods is amazing.
while i was waiting to meet up with my friend christine, i was perusing the beer section.

um, yeah.
it opens up a whole new world to me now that i'm 21.

they had:
abita beers (including post-recovery pale ale, a flavor i'm ashamed to say i'm unfamiliar with..), sapporo, kirin ichinban (?!), coney island lager, brooklyn lager, magic hat, and--dare i say it?--original sin! which i promptly bought.
never have i ever seen every single brand i love and cherish in the same place

sweet.

i finally got to hang out with christine tonight.
it was cool.
not as awkward as i was afraid it might be.
a little awkward.
but not bad.

i have a definite dream-goal future life thingy.

it is:
*to live on coney island (the closest place to NYC that's as grungy as N.O. & the french quarter, but still close enough to all i love about the city, and with its own distinct flavor from said city.)
*to keep a pekingese mix puppy-->dog
*to become certified in reiki
*to work as an admin assist. at an asian art gallery
*to join a running club
*to have some kind of alternative lifestyle, pertaining to some subculture of my liking
*to play with a band of new-wave hopefuls


yeah, idk. i mainly just want to live in coney island.

it's kind of all i can think about lately, which is strange.
but then again.

when i really want something it's all i can think about.

so, talk about ironies...
...today, i saw a sign that said 'we are closed until further notice due to a break in the pipes of the floor above. We are currently recovering from devastating flooding from these pipes' in the window of a Plumbing & Hardware store.

*sing-song* Iron-y....

so much for good plumbing...
until next time, gentle reader!
30th-Jan-2009 03:56 pm - thing to be grateful for--day #8011
today, i am grateful that i did not get my tarot read for this week.

i don't think i could've handled that.
Every now and then things happen that just change how I look at the world.

I mean, a lot of things are influencing that now. I'm wondering, in many ways, how much I've really changed since freshman year. I feel like I'm a lot more together but that overall things are just farther apart in many ways.

I'm learning exactly how seriously I have to take art if I'm planning to forge a career in it. I mean, the gallery I'm at is so nice, and everything is so precise and perfect and on edge.... I feel like the girl in Devil wears Prada, really, landing such a nice job where all the other interns are so snobby and i feel kinda out of the loop...but it's because I'm not trying hard enough. I definitely have the ability to change my knowledge about things, and I've decided to devote myself to getting to intimately know art galleries, especially Asian contemporary art galleries, around Manhattan, and to visit them regularly over the next year while I'm living here saving up for grad school. I definitely need to be familiar with artists by their names and works and styles and schools and influences...
so much to know, that it's intimidating, yet, it's a challenge...

my work and my future are definitely what I want to immerse myself in right now, everything else can kind of take a back seat, especially when some things are so confusing.

I've decided that no matter what happens in my life, I only ever want to depend on myself. My foremost concern is my career and how well I support myself.
Everything else can just kind of ride on that.

It feels good to be working toward something again....
20th-Jan-2009 03:20 pm - at work...
wow, i never knew how fun updating is while you're supposed to be working!
ok., i shall harness this unsung feeling of forbidden excitement only long enough to jubilantly declare: hooray obama!
but i'm really excited about......not obama.
im excited about realizing that i already knew something today.
and that is...
....if something has a bad reputation, then it's definitely worth looking into, because there's probably something to it that people are afraid of.


nice thought, huh?

looking into thing #1: anarchy.

bring it on.
hit me up though? is there truth to that idea, in a pleasant-ville, ignorance is bliss sort of way? let me know...


'let's pretend we don't exist....'
9th-Jan-2009 12:32 pm - the beginning of the end
so, i have come to the conclusion that this is my last semester at SPC.
no, literally. i knew it was the last semester, but i have finally accepted...
'its the end of the world as we know it/and i feel fine...' (i hope i feel that way in 2012. im wiling to bet a lot of sedatives are sold that year...)
i'm buckling down, because i'm setting the seeds for my adult life here.
i know thats a crazy thought, but it's true.
im getting serious about things i know i need to commit to.
and also hopefully having some of the most outrageous times here at college, because, who cares if i get written up? and frankly, now that im a sr. the odds of that aren't very high anyway...


My List o' things for Spring '08:
*bring friends home for mardi gras
*take conrad out to montauk
*rock n roll hall of fame in cleveland, oh trip w/kathie (and mebbe alberto)
*go out clubbing
*become self sufficient
*visit philly
*go to boston
*attend a keg party
*help set up for at least 1 exhibition opening
*go shopping on 5th ave.
*become a regular at a bar (yeah, i can ---- this one its already Park.)
*go to DC and the National Monuments (i can ---this one too im goin tom.)
*go to at least one function that has most of the people i know there (will prolly wind up being JSF)
*call home/sisters more often
*take belle out to a broadway show on her birthday
*get my family up here for my graduation
*finalize my living arrangements for the rest of the year

yep.
thats a hefty laundry list.
i will get all of these things done though, or i swear off the name of llama.
or, at least, most of them...
anyone else who wants to put it visually, feel free to comment with your own list, or add an activity you want to do together. i just want to spend some one-on-one time and party time with all the good peeps...thats not such a hard thing, right?
5th-Jan-2009 12:33 am - equilibrium
my new year's resolution:

become ok with life at all times.

best resolution ev-ah.

smiley face.
23rd-Dec-2008 12:05 am - i'm in love with patrick watson.
don't worry! he's a musician. i still love conrad.
**takes a moment to watch video for drifters**
wow.
new music crush.

so, since i've been in dallas, i have...
...eaten a ton of mexican food.
...run on the coldest freakin' day ever (well, ok, it was only about 30 degrees F. but w/e. im in freakin' texas..)
...played a doubles ping pong match, and not sucked. Nice.
...talked to the indians, and my b/f on the fone, and between susan and juan managed to keep my car.
...realized how important friends are.
...realized how hard it will be for me to get a job and an internship in the spring.
...tried to quit freaking out about the future.
...spent a ton of money on christmas gifts.
...watched the other boleyn girl and the jane austen book club.
...listened to a lot of fox news and country music.
...remembered that although family may not always agree with one another, they owe it to each other to meet in the middle of where they are.

so, basically, i've done nothing.
but i love being away from everything.
you don't get perspective unless you do.
i finally realized today what an idiot i was for hanging on to something impossible.
wow.
i was soo close to losing something i could have never done without.
i consider this a wake up call for my life!
13th-Dec-2008 02:26 pm - A Saturday with Nothing to Do
Well, actually, that's a lie. I definitely have a lot of things I'm avoiding doing. Who isn't procrastinating when they LJ post? Yeah.... ah well. It's still a weekend, right? I'm helping a friend through some stuff so we're gonna go shopping.. the bf went home for the night to be with the fam. i hate being alone in my room. i feel like the walls fill the room with an empty silence. i wish walls could make noise when you're in the room, like with different settings. i'd have mine set on "distant chatter and occasional laughter, nocturne 32." just because i like the word nocturne.
so, it's right before the holidays. isn't it just amazing how things go from being messy to clean to messy all over again? i think the mayans had it right when they labeled time as moving in circles through space. we in the western world see time as moving as a progressive line, because of our anthrocentric culture, and because human beings age. Age and time are not the same thing. But i Digress....last night was a pretty good night at park. it wasn't as good as the regulars hang out night, because there were more ppl and me and juan and kelly couldnt just hash things out..it was more social than hashing through the socialness... but it was interesting. met some lou'siana kids up there, including a husband/wife, the guy'd gone to SPC. they were all from jennings, la, over between lafayette and lake charles. it was funny, cuz a lot of country was playin, and the girl was like ' i dont know why all this country's playin'...everyone's gonna think we playd it' and i was like, wow. i did too. so i guess even i'm stereotyped by livin' up here about louisiana folks.
ah well.
i do have to say i was pleasantly surprised by who actually showed up for park last night.
just sayin.
some people don't get out much... *cough cough*
i met jass and marissa, cynthia's friends, the other night, and saw jass again in the caf today. they seem like a good time. i've realized i've really retreated into the people i know best this year, instead of reaching out like i wanted to. i think that comes from having a b/f too, but also b/c the older we get the more we tend to stick to what's familiar for us. which is fine, too.
i dont really have much else to say.
there's so much responsibility i'm shirking.
i think i need to go to IKEA today for the first time.
just a thought.
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